You have been visited today by a contractor and a technician.
You have been visited today by people from New Zealand, Germany, Kansas, and Ontario.
You have talked to people from Great Britain, Minneapolis, and your own home.

It's not a big world.
You're not alone, ever.

So why do we constantly bring ourselves to believe such bullshit?



We attach ourselves to people and things that please our five senses.
The way things sound or the way they feel.
Smell is always a plus and sometimes a deal breaker.

But, here I am, screaming to my synapses.
And as they fire, they break open to warn another, and another, and another.
And eventually I'm pulling away and running.

Running from what?



Just running.
From my own scream
and the way you feel
and the way you sounded.

And I didn't need you; I wanted you.

But that's exactly why I'm running.
Away.
Away.
I can't go back, anyways.
Not after this.



Everyday I wake up with this new gap between what I thought I knew and what has become true.
I can't stop thinking, What now?
What now?

What the fuck do I do now?
When I had everything planned perfectly for myself.
And I let my senses ruin it completely.
The painting I left out is unfinished and the extra supplies left over have dried up.

What now?




Well I guess I'm running into people and to people and places I've been five thousand times
and you'll come to mind but, again, my synapses pull me away
and I'm floating through these days as if it never happened
and I wish I didn't have to, and I wonder so much if you realize what you've done.

To yourself.